What is very important in most of the Christian Tantric Mysticism is the notion of poverty and renunciation. This is crucial in life of Saint Francis as well. We can build on the Gospel text: “ If you wish to come after me, deny yourself and take up your cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24) (189). There is perhaps nothing more powerful and important than the renunciation of “yourself” or if you wish the denial of yourself. We can see the gradual process that is in place in the life of St. Francis. It starts in our readings on page 188 when Francis replied to God: “Lord what will you have me to do”. This is more or less our first experience or move into the denial of our selves; Francis is no longer searching for his own interest, He is not looking to fulfill his own desires, in this moment he is surrendering in the God’s will by implying to what God wants him to do. He asks the question and waits in surrendered state which is beginning of denial of his own will. As soon as this happens Francis becomes “joyous and free of care; already a model of obedience, he awaited the Lord’s will” (188).
Being joyous and free of care is inevitable side effect of surrendering to what is. In that moment Francis is no achieving anything, he is not attached to this joy. If he did this for joy it would have been denied to him, because it would have not been a surrender to God’s will, but just another form of ego striving for something. It is important to understand that he is at this moment out of the field of time and thought. He is totally surrendered to God’s will without any side – requests. Francis did not make this happen. Person can not achieve such a state. It is either granted or not, but it is not achievable by any will. Only in such a state person can perhaps fully understand the profound beauty and liberation that comes from the act of renunciation. It is not something intellectually understandable, you either go into it or not. But if you go into it because it is your desire to’ sit next to God’ ;it will be denied to you. The notion of absolute denial of yourself is imperative – it is the first and last step; there are no hidden motives, no achievements. From this point forward Francis understood that “Take nothing on your journey (Luke 9:3” (201) is the basic ‘requirement’. Obviously anything person owns and think of as ‘his’ will impede him in the act of denial of himself. This is very clear to me, although even this can be a form of self gratification and even self denial can be an act of an Ego.
There are very finely defined nuances and differences that are understood only by the person who is actually going into it. Any kind of intellectual speculation is just that: ‘speculation’. The rest of the Francis’s life is based on self denial and renunciation. The actual effects of such life are beautifully described on page 211: “ Holly poverty, which was all they had to meet their expenses, made them prompt for obedience, robust for work and free to travel. Because they possessed nothing that belonged to the world, they were attached to nothing and feared to lose nothing. They were safe everywhere, not held back by fear, nor distracted by care, they lived with untroubled minds and, without anxiety” (211-212). This was a real renunciation and reality of it is more than proven in the following statement:” many insults were hurled against them as persons unknown and despised. But their love of the Gospel of Christ had made them so patient that they sought to be where they would suffer physical persecution rather than where their holiness was recognized and they could glory in worldly honor” (212). No one can argue against this! It is complete, it is perfect! Especially when this follows: “Their poverty seemed to them overflowing abundance.”(212) . I can not even put in words how beautiful and profound such a statements are. This is a living God for them, this is the salvation! It can not get more clear and real than that. There are many other things that could be picked as blueprintsof the Christian Tantric Mysticism but self denial is perhaps one of the most important.
